To My Future Fit Self: I’m Getting Sick and Tired

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Dear Future Fit Self,

I got your letter, and I just had to respond. You can’t possibly understand what it’s like to be me. I’m getting sick and tired of hearing about this impossible dream you’re describing. It sounds too good to be true, and my father taught me to always question those types of situations. You can’t possibly understand what I go through daily. I can barely make it through the day. And weight loss surgery? Please, that’s the easy way out. There is no way I could lose 235 pounds. You don’t know or remember how hard it is to be obese. There’s no way my future fit self can understand.

Apology Accepted

Thank you for the apology you offered me. I know that I am not treating myself how I deserve to be treated, but I just don’t know how to change. You speak of all this wonderful future I have in store for me, but I don’t see the path to get there. I know that I deserve more, and I know that I deserve better than what I have. However, how do I go from someone who is unhappy most days of the week, struggling with depression and anxiety, to someone who is happy and encourages others to go after their goals?

At the same time, future fit me, I find it hard to accept your apology. Why did you let me suffer for so long? Why didn’t you start changing our life sooner? If there is anything you can do for me, it is to encourage me to do better. An apology without changed behavior means nothing. So I guess this means that I need to start changing somethings in my life. But how can you even understand what it’s like to be me? Do you even remember what it’s like to be fat and dealing with all the issues that come along with it? It’s hard, and it’s not fun. Yes, I use food to comfort me but doesn’t everyone?

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Hard to See the Future

The future you describe to me sounds like a dream. I would love to be happy, healthy, fit and to radically transform my life into one I love. But when you can barely make it through each day without feeling despair, pain, fatigue and/or depression, it’s hard to see any sort of future. It’s hard to see past the day to day when the future seems so bleak. Yet, you paint a picture of fantasy. I dream all the time of being where you claim you are right now. It sounds too good to be true. And so, that makes me very skeptical. You see, I was always taught that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I don’t see how I shrink down from 428 pounds to 193 pounds. You sound like you are crazy. It’s simply not possible for me to lose that much weight. I can’t even picture myself below 200 pounds. You are living in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. I wish I could have a face to face conversation with you so that you can prove it to me. However, I know that it won’t ever happen. So, I’m just supposed to believe a random letter I got from my time-traveling future fit self? Yet for some reason, I do. Maybe I am the crazy one for actually believing you, even if I can’t see it in my head.

Change is Hard

Do you know how hard it is to change 30-years of habits? I was made to believe that I am not good enough because of a number on a scale. I have tried countless diets and nothing has worked so far. You know that people discourage me by saying things like, “Why are you even trying to diet? You know you won’t stick to it.” How in the world am I supposed to overcome all the negativity and verbal abuse I’ve received because of my weight? Changing is hard. Sure, I can change my physical habits for a few weeks maybe, but beyond that, I have no faith in myself.

I have been this way for 30-years. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks! And that’s how I feel – old. I feel run down. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I just don’t know how to change anything. You also say that people closest to me are hurting me, but I can’t see it. I don’t believe you. I can’t imagine my life without these people in it. However, I’ll take your word for it and be on the lookout. I don’t want to change the people in my life because that sounds even scarier. How do you expect me to change so many things in my life in such a short amount of time?

Weight Loss Surgery

And speaking of time, future fit self, I see that you say I go through weight loss surgery. But, isn’t that the easy way out? I don’t want to take some shortcuts because I’m too lazy to make the lifestyle changes necessary to lose weight. Do you have a beginner’s guide of some sort that could help me out? I’d sure love something like to get me started on my bariatric surgery journey if that’s what I eventually decide. I’m still not sure if this avenue is for me, but you seem to have success with it. So maybe I need to look into it further.

RELATED CONTENT: Want to learn the 10 changes you need to make in your life to be successful with bariatric surgery? Get our free download here!

But honestly, it seems like so much work. There are so many doctor appointments and weight loss surgery requirements. I don’t see how I am going to have the physical or emotional energy to get through it all. Also, it seems expensive, and I am not at a place where I can afford all of these appointments. I am so terrified of doing all of this work and it not working. It feels overwhelming thinking of all that has to be done to get bariatric surgery, and I am not sure about my current situation if I can do it all.

Do You Even Remember?

I mean, my future fit self, do you remember how much capacity I have right now? I barely have the energy to get through work, much less exercise and meal prep. Knowing this about me, I wonder if you even remember how hard it is to be fat? Do you remember how embarrassing it is to go clothing shopping? Or to be terrified of fitting into seats? Are you too far out of obesity that you don’t even understand my problems? How can I trust you?

I mean, I know that you were once me and that you do understand, but the pain that I feel daily is real. It’s physical and emotional, and it’s hard to get through my day. Do you remember what it’s like? I don’t think that you do because you sound so positive. You sound like a completely different person than who I am today. And maybe that’s a good thing because it means my life is going to get better. But, I can’t help but feel disconnected from a reality that I can only dream about right now.

I’ll Try, Future Fit Self

And so, my future fit self, you can’t possibly understand what I go through each day. I accept your apology but don’t act as if you get it, because I don’t think you do. I can’t just change. That’s too scary. But, OK, I’ll look into weight loss surgery since you said that’s how I start to change my life. I do want to be happy, and I do want to lose weight, but I just don’t know how. I thank you for giving me hope for my future, even if I’m not convinced it will happen. But, if it does, I can’t wait to meet you!

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In Summary

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