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Dear Former Fat Self,
They say hindsight is 20/20, and if there is anything I could reach out and tell you after losing 235 pounds, it’s this: you deserve better. You are a product of how people mistreated you for so long. You deserve more. I’m sorry I didn’t always treat you the best, but life gets so much better. Once you start taking care of yourself, you transform into the person you have always wanted to be. However, there is some sense of personal responsibility you need to take for your actions and inactions. There are things you are doing that are hurting yourself. It’s time for you to stop agonizing in the pain caused by other people and for you to start being the person you were meant to be. There is hope for you and your future. Life gets so much better. Hang in there because you, my dear former fat self, deserve better.

An Apology to My Former Fat Self
First, I want to start by apologizing to you. I have let you believe that you weren’t good enough your entire life. Other people have made you feel that you were less than a human being simply because of how you looked. They discounted you before you even had a chance to prove yourself to them. Over the years, my former fat self, this has led you to feel like you were the least priority. Therefore, I put your needs last. I started putting everyone else before you, which led you to your heaviest weight of 428 pounds, a deep sense of unhappiness and fear of dying early. I’m sorry I allowed that to happen to you because you deserve better.
I’m also sorry that I allowed other people to treat you that way. There are many people in your life taking advantage of you. You can’t see it right now because you simply want those people to love you and to care for you. Your worth is not dependent on how others see you or the number on the scale for that matter. God designed you in your mother’s womb. He fearfully and wonderfully created you. Your worth is found in God’s purpose for your life. I wish I could reach out and show you how you are being mistreated because you don’t quite see it. But, you will. And when you do, you are going to radically transform your life.
Your Future is Bright
Once you decided to put yourself first, you are going to radically transform your life. Not only do you lose 235 pounds in about 18 months, but you also become more active. You enjoy exercise. Your shirts go from a 4X to a medium, and your pants go down from a size 30 to a size 14. I know that it’s hard for you to imagine the physical changes you go through during this time, but trust me on this one. Yes, you are going to have some excess skin that hangs down, but you’d much rather have that than have it be filled with unhealthy fat.
Beyond your physical transformation, you go through a mental transformation. As you lose weight and gain confidence, you learn that your self-worth is not dependent on others. You let go of the toxic people in your life and learn to stand on your own two feet. You realize that you are incredible and have a purpose here on Earth that is beyond anything you could imagine. Life doesn’t have to be the way you are living right now, my former fat self.
Once you get sick and tired of being sick and tired, you are going to get determined to improve your life. You’re going to get addicted to setting goals and then smashing them. Not only are you going to change your own life, but you’re also going to inspire and encourage thousands of people around you. All of these changes help your mental transformation as you blossom into the person you were meant to be.
Losing Weight Changes So Much
So, my former fat self, I’d like to go over some of the benefits of losing weight:
- You no longer have obstructive sleep apnea, polycystic ovarian syndrome, high blood pressure, prediabetes, metabolic disease or stomach ulcers
- Exercise is your saving grace and helps you with your emotional eating
- Clothing shopping is fun again
- You gain confidence
- Your drive and motivation to succeed go far up
- Food no longer has the same appeal it once had, and you no longer need it to cope with your emotions
- Running is a favorite hobby of yours
- Writing makes a comeback in a big way in your life
- You get closer to God
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I wish I could tell you every amazing thing that has happened in your life since you decided to start taking care of yourself. It’s quite amazing. However, I don’t want to spoil too much for you. But just know this simple fact: you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone take that from you.
Some Tough Love
I know the reasons that led to your morbid obesity, former fat self. I have been with you as we went through some tough, abusive situations. Remember that I am you, just a fitter, healthier version of you. So, my former fat self, don’t think that I don’t know where you’re coming from or that I don’t understand. I do understand. I get it more than you will ever know. It’s not easy to live your life. However, I also know that you need some tough love too.
You see, while you are a product of the way people are treating you, you also need to take a sense of personal responsibility. I know that you use food as a coping mechanism to feel better. Food patches the holes in your heart and helps heal the emotional scratches. However, it’s slowly killing you. You’re developing serious medical diseases. You need to stop trying to fill the emptiness in your life with food. It’s only making everything worse. You are responsible for the food you put in your mouth. No one is forcing you to eat the cake, cookies, chips and other unhealthy foods you’re consuming. You need to take some responsibility for these actions. Learn how to deal with your emotions without food (Hint: plenty of sleep and water, exercise and God are going to be your saving grace during this time. Fad diets don’t work).
RELATED CONTENT: Want to learn the 10 changes you need to make in your life to be successful with bariatric surgery? Get our free download here!
Your Lifestyle Sucks
It is with all the love in my heart that I tell you this next fact, my dear former fat self: your lifestyle sucks. Seriously. You need to stop watching so much television. I know it’s a way for you to escape your crappy reality, but it’s making your obesity worse. It’s making you eat more because you’re bored while watching it. You could be spending that time improving your life and being happy. I know you believe it’s not possible, and you’re too far gone. You aren’t. You just need someone to light a fire under your butt to get you going.
I’m not saying losing weight solves all your problems because it doesn’t. What I am saying is that if you want to be happy, if you want to love your life, you need to do something. You’ll still face challenges, but that’s life. However, you now cope with challenges in a better and new way. You’ll also have to learn how to forgive others because some of the people closest to you are going to hurt you the most. The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive them. Forgiving doesn’t mean you excuse their behavior or that they win. It gives you peace over the situation so that you are free to live your life. You are free to be happy
Call to Action
And so, my former fat self, it’s time for you to take action in your life. My biggest regret with bariatric surgery is that I didn’t get it done sooner. Seriously, it has been that transforming. It’s not just about weight loss. It’s about losing all the parts of your life that make you unhappy and replacing them with better versions that make you happy. I honestly had no clue that I could be this happy, and I so desperately what you to get there sooner rather than later. You deserve better than this life you’re living. It’s time for you to make that appointment for the information session at the hospital. It’s time for you to start meal prepping, exercising, sleeping better, and managing your stress. Your future and me, your future fit self, are waiting for you with open arms. Take that first step and get to work!
My Former Fat Self
Sorry to be so blunt and honest in this letter, my former fat self, but you need a wake-up call. I know that you are hurting and are unhappy. However, you can do something about it. The power to change is within yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to doing. You just need to make it up. Life gets so much better when you start your bariatric journey. Every area of your life improves. You begin to create and live the life you love. I just want you to start sooner, my dear former self because you deserve so much more than what you are currently experiencing.
If this article gave you some great ideas to incorporate into your life, just imagine what other amazing strategies I have for you! Share this post on social media by clicking one of the sharing buttons, and don’t forget to join my email list! You’ll be the first to get updates, access to my new products and lots of tips, inspiration and motivation to help in your bariatric surgery journey. Just for joining, I’ll send you a free Bariatric Beginner’s Guide to get you started, as well as some other pretty awesome goodies to keep you motivated. Join today!
In Summary
As your body physically changes with weight loss, your mind takes a little longer to catch up. We get so used to seeing a larger person in the mirror, and especially with times of rapid weight loss after bariatric surgery, it can be hard to see a thinner person in the mirror. Don’t worry though, your mind will eventually catch up.


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